Jack woke slowly, the pounding in his head slightly short of a marching band national conference.

As he opened his eyes and the images slowly coalesced around him, he realized he was lying on the floor in the recovery position on his side, his head propped up on a folded blanket with one thrown over his body.

Moving slightly, he regretted it immediately as the room tilted around him and a rush of nausea nearly forced him to loose his breakfast. McDonalds never tasted as good the second time around. He groaned, his hand immediately going to his head to stop the world from spinning.

"Sir?"

Opening his eyes a crack, he found Carter hovering over him, a concerned expression in her blue eyes.

"Carter…"

"How are you doing, Sir?" she asked, bending closer.

"What happened?"

"It seems as if Daniel forgot to turn off one of the security features for that room," she answered helping to lever him up into a seated position, his back resting against the wall.

"How long was I out?" he asked, rubbing the palm of his head against his right eye, peering up at Carter out of the other.

"About ten minutes, if that. Daniel’s already checking out the room."

"What?!" Jack exclaimed, nearly rising to his feet but an intense feeling of vertigo kept him in place—that and the pounding headache.

"Sir, please, don’t get too excited, I think you hit your head pretty hard. You probably have a concussion. Teal’c’s in there with him." She glanced away. "He showed up just as you were thrown across the room."

He glanced her way, grimacing slightly as the room quivered first before settling down. "Perfect timing as usual." He paused, trying to get the racket in his head to down to a more tolerable level. "Did they find anything at least?"

"I think so, Sir," she replied cryptically, glancing over her shoulder toward the other side of the room.

"Think so? Carter, take pity on an old man and tell me what the hell is going on."

"Daniel thinks he found something."

"Thinks? He found something in less than ten minutes?" Jack tried to push himself to his feet and found his balance off a bit, but he was determined to see this thing Daniel had uncovered. He got this headache all because of Daniel and by God, if it killed him, he was going to find out what it was.

Jack reached out, holding the wall as he levered himself to his feet. Carter, seeing his determination, helped him up; holding him steady as the room lurched and spun. "Sir, I don’t think this is a good idea," Carter protested.

"I’m going, Carter, with or without your help and if Daniel doesn’t have some kind of new alien weapon then I’m going to throttle him. Understood?"

Carter nodded and offered her shoulder. Jack shrugged her off with a wave of his hand. "I’m not cripple. Just be there in case the room does that funky tipping thing again."

"Sure thing, Colonel."

Moving slowly, Jack ambled his way across the room toward vaguely realizing that he could see. The torches around the room had been lit.

"Carter, who put the lights on?"

"Teal’c figured that out. There was a switch in the other room. They’re powered by some kind of technology—"

"Ack!" he said, putting up his hand to stop her from elaborating. Any scientific mumbo-jumbo and his head would implode. At her understanding nod, he smiled grimly and stepped through the door jam and into the second room.

It was nothing like the rooms they had been through previously. This room was stunning in its starkness. Gleaming metal covered the room from floor to ceiling. The cavernous room echoed every noise, every tap-tap-tap on the raised consoles, every exhale, and every single word until they bounced back in a calvacade of sound.

This was nothing like anything Jack had ever seen before. This stuff would even make the Tollens envious.

"Daniel?" Jack said, trying to keep his voice low knowing how well the sound could travel in this room.

The archeologist raised his head and looked toward him a confused expression across his face. "Jack? Oh, hey Jack, how are you feeling?" Daniel asked, stepping away from the niche in the wall and moving closer, his expression sheepish. "I’m really sorry about that before. I should have—"

"Ack! You should have done a lot of things, but for the love of all that’s holy, please tell me you found the big honking space gun that we’ve been looking for."

"Well," Daniel began, a hesitant smile crossing his face as he refused to meet Jack’s eyes.

"Well what?"

"Well, not exactly."

"Then what, exactly, have you found?"

"Something else."

"Do you care to elaborate?"

"Well, it’s green."

"Green?"

"Green."

"As in green as grass, as in Kermit the Frog green?"

"Darker actually," Daniel said, pushing his glasses up to sit higher on his nose.

"So, dark green?"

"More of a middle-toned green actually."

Jack sighed explosively. "Daniel, what did you find?"

"I’m not sure, exactly. It’s not like I’ve had a lot of time to examine it."

Jack closed his eyes and began counting to ten and reciting in the back of his mind "do not kill the archeologist, do not kill the archeologist."

It took several minutes, but eventually he managed to push the desire to throttle the man in front of him to the back of his mind, but Jack knew that it wouldn’t take much before the urge became too great. He could almost picture those blue eyes bulging—

"Daniel," Jack said, shaking his head slightly to rid himself of the thoughts and the images, but regretted it immediately as the room spun a little. "Can I see it?"

"Sure, Jack," Daniel replied immediately. "Come this way."

Daniel led the way across the cavernous room, past Teal’c who was carefully examining one of the raised console and the screen displayed before him. Jack slowly made his way across the floor, taking care not too upset his head too much, but when he saw what Daniel had found, he discovered he was underwhelmed. Incredibly underwhelmed.

"Daniel, it’s a pickle."

The archeologist was quick to take offense. "It is not, Jack. It’s a very special and technological device that just happens to bear some resemblance to—"

"A pickle."

Jack could hardly believe his eyes. He was staring at a pickle. It was supposed to be this great big honking space weapon and he was looking at a pickle.

"Carter, is that a gherkin or a dill pickle do you think? It’s a little small for a dill, unless it’s a kosher dill, but those can be big. The deli down the street, Mike’s or Jerry’s has some gourmet pickles. Those are absolutely—"

"O’Neill, Jaffa approach."

"What?" Jack asked, whirling around on his heel, the room continuing to spin for several seconds more.

"According to the monitoring sensors, several Jaffa have come through the Stargate and are approaching the ruins," Teal’c replied, gazing calmly across the room.

"Where did they come from?"

"Perhaps the outer rooms were equipped with a special sensor indicating the presence of interlopers," Teal’c suggested.

"Daniel?" Jack asked whirling back to the archeologist. "Is that a possibility?"

Daniel shrugged. "Maybe. I didn’t see anything."

"Carter?"

She offered her own shoulder gesture. "Didn’t notice anything, Sir."

"They have to know we’re here. We’ve left a path and now the world is beating it to our door. Come on kids, we have to get out of here before they get to the temple. I wouldn’t want to be trapped here," Jack said, moving to the entrance as quickly as he could. "Teal’c, can you tell how close they are?"

"They are immediately outside of the temple."

"What? I thought you said they just came through the gate."

"I saw the warning lights previously but only now were able to decipher the meaning of the symbols."

"What is it with everyone today?" Jack gripped. "Forget to take your commonsense pills today? Let’s set up here, it’s as good a place as any. What do we have for weapons?"

"Your MP5 is in the next room," Carter offered.

"Teal’c has his staff weapon," Daniel added before silence fell over them.

This day was just getting better ad better. "So we have Teal’c’s staff and nothing else?"

"My weapon is with my pack in the next room, Sir," Carter replied, her tone hesitant.

"Beautiful," Jack said, thinking. "Teal’c, can you grab the two weapons without being seen?" At Teal’c’s nod, Jack continued. "Daniel, give me the pickle."

"But Jack—"

"I don’t want to hear any of it, Daniel. I need something as a back-up plan and the pickle’s it."

Reluctantly, Daniel returned to the wall shelf and removed the object in question, dropping it into Jack’s outstretched hand a few seconds later.

A few beats after that, Teal’c entered the room, the two weapons in his hands and handed Carter and Jack each a weapon. "They approach," Teal’c said quietly, setting himself up on the right side of the door jam.

Jack nodded and sighed, shoving the pickle into his pocket and readying his gun. The noise was going to be horrible.

"How many?" Jack asked, his voice barely loud enough to carry across the three feet to Teal’c’s ears.

"I am uncertain."

"So even if we kill all of these guys, there could be more?"

"Perhaps, O’Neill."

Joy.

And sooner than Jack wanted, the Jaffa appeared, their armor shining in the flickering torchlight, their gaze locked on the door and the room beyond.

Jack stepped into the opening and let them have it.

The first few Jaffa fell quickly as some of the others scurried out of range sending several staff weapon shots into the room, blackening the clean metal walls.

Realizing he didn’t have extra ammo, he glanced back at his second, catching her eye. "Carter, do you have extra ammo?"

"No, Sir. It’s with the pack."

"What?"

"You didn’t mention anything about extra ammo, Sir," she replied sheepishly.

Jack sighed explosively. And they were supposed to be the intelligent ones. "Teal’c, we’re going to run out of ammo real quick."

"I can hold them indefinitely, O’Neill."

"You go there, Killer," Jack said, flashing a feral grin.

Sending off round after round of ammo, Jack quickly worked his way through the two MP5 clips and the rounds in his handgun before falling back against the wall, his head throbbing.

This was so not working. He needed another option.

Peering around the corner in an effort to strategize his next move, Jack noticed something odd. Okay, maybe not odd, but disturbing.

One of the Jaffa was readying a shock grenade.

That was not a good option.

"Teal’c," Jack hissed, "they have a shock grenade. And I don’t know about you, but unconsciousness and blindness, albeit temporarily, was not on my dance card tonight. We could end up anywhere."

"We do not have many options," Teal’c replied before sending several volleys of weapons fire toward the approaching Jaffa.

"There can’t be too many of them left," Jack said, thinking hard. "I hate to suggest this, but we could always surrender."

"Jack!"

"Sir!"

"I don’t see any other options at this point, people. At least we’ll have a fighting chance and we’ll somewhat be in control of our future."

"It is the best possible option, O’Neill."

Jack nodded. "Teal’c, you get the privilege. Tell them. Everyone else lay down your weapons. It seems like we’re going on a field trip kids."

Teal’c did his song and dance and sooner than Jack wanted they were headed out the door, hands held high and were quickly surrounded by the remaining Jaffa. They sneered at him, so he sneered back, winning a whack in the back with the end of a staff weapon.

The walk back out of the temple went quickly and they emerged into the sunlight only to be stopped several feet from the entrance and forced to kneel which meant only one thing: an overdressed Goa’uld with visions of grandeur was waiting for an audience.

If Jack had his way, he’d give him more than just an audience.

Jack tilted his head, trying to get the sun out of his eyes as he tried to figure out who this particular Goa’uld was this time around. It wasn’t someone they’d met before.

After a dramatic pause, the Goa’uld finally spoke. "I am Petesuchos and I have come for the technology you have stolen from me."

"Wait a minute, Pistachio," Jack said. "Your technology? I think possession is nine-tenths of the law, and I know where it is. You let us go, and I’ll tell you where to find it."

"Jack—" Daniel hissed, his Jack shot him a quick glance which shut him up immediately. Jack could almost hear Daniel’s plea, "No, Jack, not the pickle, anything but the pickle." As interesting as his thoughts could be sometimes, Jack pulled his attention back to the situation at hand.

"I am a God. Gods do not bargain."

"You might want to start."

"Jaffa, kree!" Petesuchos bellowed and the Jaffa dragged Jack closer, dropping him roughly at Petesuchos’ feet.

"I do not like the tone of your voice, human," he said, circling Jack.

"Get used to it."

A swift kick to his stomach curled him into a tight ball as he tried to cradle the injured area. It also gave him a chance to reach in his pocket to grab his pickle in a less obvious manner. Feeling a line in the center of the object, Jack twisted as best as he could with one hand, again and again, until it would go no further.

"I ask you again. Where is the technology you stole from me?"

Jack coughed still trying to catch his breath. Withdrawing his hand, he reached out, the pickle in his hand, offering it to Petesuchos.

"What is this?" Petesuchos asked as he examined the green object, turning it over and over in his hands.

"What you’re looking for you dope," Jack wheezed, pushing himself up onto his knees, his vision wobbly.

Petesuchos nodded once. "Jaffa, bring these humans on board and lock them in the hold. We will depart as soon as you are aboard."

"What? I thought we had a deal."

"Gods do not bargain," Petesuchos said, stepping several feet back and slapping his hand on his jeweled wrist, the transport rings exploding upward from the ground. Petesuchos vanished several seconds later.

Glancing back, Jack caught Teal’c’s eye and nodded once. There were only three Jaffa guarding them. This would be over before it even began. Jack caught Daniel’s eye and Sam’s and nodded slightly as well, the silent communication passing between them.

They moved as if they were a single body, attacking the Jaffa savagely.

Less than a minute later, they were loping their way across the village square back to the Stargate. Daniel, of course, was at his side, whining.

"Jack, how could you? That could have been one of the greatest pieces of alien technology that we’ve every recovered and you just gave it to the Goa’uld. How could you?"

Jack stopped suddenly, hands on his hips. "What else would you have me do?"

"I don’t know. Something. You didn’t have to give him the…" Daniel paused, obviously looking for the right word, "…pickle."

Jack tried not to smile. "I didn’t have much choice in the matter. Besides, I think he’ll regret taking it with him."

"Why?"

Jack looked up at the sky briefly before turning back to the archeologist. "Wait for it."

"For what are we waiting?" Teal’c said after a solid minute of silence passed.

"Wait for it."

And then, several beats later, a huge explosion overhead shook the ground under their feet. Their eyes drawn to the heavens watched as a ship exploded, the pieces raining down on the planet surface, some burning up even before they reached the ground.

Daniel turned to Jack, his blue eyes wide. "It was a bomb?"

Jack shrugged. "A grenade of sorts."

"How did you know, Sir?"

"A guess I guess." Jack paused, his face pensive. "I am disappointed I didn’t get to see his smug face when he realized what it was. That is a horrible way to go though."

"Being blown up in your own ship is not a good way to die, but there really is no good way to die," Daniel said, his eyes still locked on the last few remnants of Petesuchos’ ship as it burned out in the upper atmosphere.

"No, I wasn’t thinking about that."

"Being tricked by a human is a most embarrassing way in which to die. There is no honor in it," Teal’c suggested.

"Nope, not that and I’ll try not to be insulted by that statement. I had something else in mind."

"What, Jack?"

"Death by a pickle. I mean just think about it. It’s a horrible way to go. Gorged by a gherkin. Death by a dill. Or was that a kosher dill?"